I have heard that little comment come up on several occasions lately—set in our ways. That is really a scary thought that we are set… like concrete, maybe? Being truthful, I guess we all are set in our ways to some extent. Perhaps there is comfort with the familiar in our lives.
We talked about changes in another blog a couple of weeks ago and how change is occurring every day. Change is disruptive to people that are accustomed to things being constant. I think it becomes a pattern of getting comfortable with what’s familiar, but change is happening regardless of our efforts to remain the same. It is just going to happen.
To me, set in our ways implies that we make a choice to be immovable, planted, rock solid, and unbendable. It actually could be a process that just evolves with time. I know when I have things that come up that go against the grain, so to speak, it really means that it violates my normal routine. For example, do you eat dessert while you are finishing your meal, or do you have it later? Many prefer to never leave the table but to have dessert immediately following the meal. Any suggestion of leaving and coming back is not going to work. Period. Never.
In the South, being set in your ways means you have complied with the rituals of the family—the unchanging social rules that govern our families. They are unchangeable, unbreakable, and totally not negotiable. I have a dear friend that is a real birthday-er. She makes birthdays a really big event. I will never forget one time I was with her when the family was celebrating her birthday. Each birthday in her family has a theme, and the cake is decorated accordingly. I offered to cut the cake, since she was the honoree. After I cut various pieces, I started to cut the final piece. Suddenly, everyone watching screamed, “NO!”
I jumped back in a state of shock as I asked what was wrong. In chorus they all said energetically,
“You never cut through the name until last!”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because that’s the rule.” So I cut around the name and got the last piece on the plate. Rules… I wonder who thought up that one? Now I know, and it will never be forgotten! By the way, this year her family got her petit fours. I haven’t inquired as to how that went.
Don’t you just love it? Set in our ways—that’s what makes us who we are! That’s what gives spice to the world we live in and that gives our friends something to enjoy! Are you set in your ways? I am, so watch out.
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Find the recipe for the Triple-Layer Chocolate Cake pictured above on Victoria’s website.
